It’s time to once again re-examine the engagement ring, or more specifically, buying a loose diamond to build an engagement ring.  Though my predecessor covered the “two month’s salary” rule in a previous post, there’s still a lot to talk about, especially among men contemplating such a big purchase.  Without further ado, let’s get down to business.

The Money:  This is an easy one guys.  Spend what you can comfortably afford to spend, but don’t get something that’s less than what you want.  I know, I know…how can a person possibly reconcile those two recommendations?  Of course, you want her to have the greatest ring ever made with a diamond so large and sparkling it can stop traffic, but finances have a way of making that an impossibility, right?

Yes…but no.  Yes on the size, no on the “stop traffic”.  First, you need to realize that there will come a time in almost every woman’s life where she will be in a room with another woman she knows who is sporting a larger rock.    Don’t kid yourself.  She’ll know it and so will the other woman.  Much in the way that most of us can smell an attractive woman within a 4 block radius, women are equally conscious of each other’s clothing choices, fashion, jewelry, etc.  Fear not my friend, because even in this situation, you can still look like a champ and make her very, very happy.   

How?  Well, most men think of diamonds in a very phallic fashion.  The bigger the better.  The problem is that size comes at a price, and that price is usually a lower grade of cut, clarity and color.  What’s worse is that the bigger a diamond is, the more apparent these flaws will be.  Trust me when I say that even though women are conscious of diamond size, your future bride to be would still rather be the one wearing the smart, sophisticated smaller diamond that has a fire and brilliance which can’t be ignored than to be the one wearing a big yellow diamond that looks like it was cut from old window glass. 

Of course, some women do get the big stones that also happen to be of exceptional cut, color and clarity, but believe me when I say…that doesn’t happen too often.  More often than not, it’ll be the light reflecting qualities of a stone that get the attention first - and that’s what I would aim for with size being a secondary concern based on budget.  In short, don’t compromise quality to get a bigger stone. 

“Certified” Vs Uncertified and the 4 C’s: I work with several people who have differing opinions on certifications.   My opinion is this – find a great looking diamond you can afford and go with that one.  Certs are great for appraisals, but they don’t guarantee accuracy, nor are they always a guarantee of a good looking stone.  If you feel you need a certified stone, get a certified stone.  If the “ends” is more important than the “means” for you, however, it never hurts to look at uncertified stones.   Where I find the real value of a certification is with online shopping for loose stones.  Certifications from GIA and AGS give you a better chance of receiving what you think you purchased.   

Cut is priority number one.  Get a stone with the best cut possible and the rest will be very secondary.  AGS Ideal cuts are normally fantastic.  GIA excellent cuts are great as well.   Don’t shy away from GIA excellents with VG for polish or symmetry.   In most cases, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between a triple EX and a VG, VG, EX.  For uncertified stones with cut grades you aren’t familiar with, it’ll be that much more important to compare the aesthetics of the stone in lieu of a reference point that a cert provides. 

I like color in the G-H range because it’s white enough to face up and “perform” the same as a D-E-F stone but at a reduced cost.  Frankly, “I” is the last stop on the color train for me, but if you get an “I” that’s actually an “I” (not an incorrectly graded lower color), I is fine – all other factors being ideal.   Certified stones may be a color grade or possibly two off (usually high), which could really make a great deal of difference in price were the stone graded correctly.  That may sound bad, but uncertified stones can be just as bad and often are worse.  Then again, sometimes they are right on target and far cheaper.  This is another reason why direct comparison is so important.     

Clarity is where things get hairy, in my opinion.   Inclusions are not all created equal, and I’m not just talking about the difference between feathers and pinpoints.  It’s the nature, number AND location of these inclusions that makes a big difference in whether they will affect the fire and brilliance of a stone.  Some inclusions can be hidden partially or completely by the mounting while others can make a stone that fits SI1 grading criteria reflect light like an I2.  That’s one of the problems with certs…they don’t necessarily correlate with the real aesthetic value of a stone.   At the end of the day, an edge pinpoint might be the same size as a pinpoint in the table – but one is easily hidden by a prong while the other might look on close inspection like fleas have been using your diamond as a teeing off point in a round of flea golf.  Again (and I hope you’re starting to notice a pattern here), direct comparison is necessary whether you have a cert or not.  If possible, stay in the VS1 – VS2 range if purchasing sight unseen.  There’ll be less chance of you having to return the stone for something else. 

A final word on certifications and why it never hurts to check out uncertified stones (especially if you are shopping locally).  I think certifications are a positive step in the industry because they attempt – and often to great success - to quantify variables that make up value.  The only negative about certifications is that some people think the cert itself is of value, when in fact, it has no real value to the consumer.   It has value to the jeweler because he or she can add the cost of the certification to the stone AND sell it more easily than a stone without a cert.  For the consumer, however, it doesn’t add any actual value aside from the aforementioned benefit of making online shopping less risky.  A stone that receives a certification was no more or less aesthetically valuable (attractive) before it was graded – it just didn’t have paperwork professing written affirmation of its variables. 

Remember the scenario above where your beloved and (let’s say…a newly engaged female acquaintance) are in the same room?  Trust me, that cert isn’t going to be doing the talking.  While we (men) are exactly the type of idiots to try and convince ourselves that something is of higher value than something else because a piece of paper says it is, women are much more true to the obvious.  For them, as it should be for you when purchasing: if it looks better – it is better.   If you could get an uncertified stone with the same fire, brilliance and price as a certified stone, but larger…wouldn’t you?    Sometimes you can, so don’t automatically exclude non-certified stones or older stones with certs reflecting older grading criteria. 

When it comes to diamonds, appearance is everything, or at least it should be.  Don’t get excited…that’s not a recommendation to go out and buy a huge rainbow prism CZ or hybrid that looks like costume jewelry even to the untrained eye.  She wants a nice diamond and it certainly never hurts to be a big diamond.  No matter what your budget is, though, make sure it’s a performing diamond – a diamond that makes light reflect and dance. 

How to Compare Diamonds (Even If You Bought One Online):  So, how do you judge the aesthetic value of stones for yourself?  

If buying locally, it’s easy to compare stones at your local jeweler.  Just ensure that you look at the stones in natural light, preferrably on a sunny day, to A) see if any flourescence can be detected and B) evaluate your choice(s) against other options without the benefit of “jewelry case lights”.  

Flourescent diamonds may appear cloudy or opaque, and your jeweler will be able to verify flourescence under the right light – but frankly…”cloudy and opaque” should stop you from considering the stone then and there.  You don’t need verification to tell that a milky looking diamond isn’t pretty.  Some flourescent stones don’t have any real affect on a stone’s beauty, so likewise, don’t automatically say no to looking at a stone stated to be flourescent (especially since they are typically a little less).   

As for evaluating your choice(s) against other stones…diamonds with the best cut parameters and without major color and clarity issues will be apparent to you for their beauty and brilliance just as poorly cut, lowest color or highly included (or a combination of these) stones will be apparent for their lack of beauty and brilliance.   The key is that you want to reach the threshold where better stats don’t make a difference in appearance at the largest size possible within your budget.

For online buyers, it’s a little more complicated.  In most cases, stones will be cheaper from online retailers than at a local jewelry store because of the volume of sales and in many cases, much lower overhead.  Still, that doesn’t mean you won’t need something to compare your loose stone to.   The best tools you have for judging the aesthetic value of a stone are your own two peepers, but in order to effectively judge that stone, you need to do so in the proper context of other stones.   Comparing a sight unseen diamond to other sight unseen diamonds based on certs (for certified) or jeweler stats (for un-certified) can’t tell you which is the best looking stone in your budget. 

“So what you’re saying is that if I buy a stone online, you expect me to purchase it, take it to a reputable local jeweler and ask them to see how it stacks up against their stock?” 

Sorry, but yes.  You don’t have to be so obvious, but it’s a good idea.  You can tell them you may want to upgrade to a better quality stone at roughly the same size to see how it stacks up against their offerings.  It’s good to compare because you need a point of reference on aesthetics and it sure never hurts to have another point of reference on price.   Again, reach the threshold where better stats don’t make a difference in appearance at the largest size possible within your budget.   We have people come in all the time with other diamonds, wanting to see how they stack up for the price.  Sometimes they walk away satisfied with the stone they brought in.  Sometimes they re-commit to finding a better stone based on differences in quality they can easily see.   The point is, no jeweler should mind helping you to compare stones, especially if they may be able to get you a bigger stone that looks just as good or the same size stone that looks better for the same money. 

Buying a diamond these days is a catch 22.  You want online loose stone prices, but you also need to be able to compare it to other stones, which is impossible without a local jeweler.  You can expect a rough markup on a loose stone of 10% retail online.  Try finding that markup locally.  You probably won’t.  If you do, be very wary of the price of the setting they want to sell you.  Many jewelers (yes, some online jewelers too) like to appear to be competitive in one place only to overcharge you in another.  They’re banking on you comparison shopping diamond prices and forgetting to comparison shop settings. 

How to Compare Loose Stones:  Again, take a serious look at the stones in natural light and preferably next to each other.  Put them on a white background like a piece of printer paper if possible.  Compare them to a master stone set.  Move them around at various angles.  Look for the fire and brilliance of each stone.  See if you can eye any inclusions and then look through a 10x loupe to verify their presence (or absence).   Just remember that the top view of the diamond (what your eyes see) will be what her eyes see.  After all this, you’ll be able to come to generally one of three possible conclusions depending on whether you are comparing locally or buying online/comparing locally:

Comparing Locally:

A) “This diamond looks great and is in my price range.  I now need to do some comparison shopping online and locally based on this diamonds stated criteria to make sure I’m getting it at a fair price.  If so, this is my stone”    

B) “Nothing here excites me…I’m going to look elsewhere.”

Buying Online/Comparing Locally:

A) “Wow, this diamond stacks up well the other options I’ve viewed but at a lower price.  I really got a great deal.  Now to find a setting.” 

B) “The diamond I chose doesn’t stack up to better quality stones I’m seeing here that are within a similar price point.  I’ll be returning this stone.

C) The jeweler has shown me some smaller stones in my price range that, while indeed smaller, look a heck of a lot better than what I’ve brought in.  I think I need to up quality at the expense of size or save more money if I absolutely must be in a particular size range.  This stone is going back where it came from.”  

D) “I like the diamond I chose, but I think I paid too much.  The local guy has a similar sized diamond that looks just as good for less.  I can either return this and take the locally available stone or return this and shop around for another stone…but either way this one is going back.”  

(Note – If you actually have internal dialogues similar to the cheesy – but pertinent - examples presented above, you may want to forego the diamond purchase and instead save up for a personality transplant)

Settings: Once you pick a stone that shines as well or better than any other and is in your price range, you’re almost done.  You now need to choose a setting, but that’s an article for next week. 

-Dr. Diamond